Trust, loyalty and monogamy are rare to find in today’s society. Partnerships have lost their sacredness. We live in a society where it is frowned upon & viewed “unmanly” for a man to openly cry, show his vulnerabilities, hurts, & mistreatment by a a female. There is so much attention placed on women being broken by relationships it is often forgotten that men are broken by them too.
To open thyself up to be loved and learning to trust are two of the scariest things one can do after being hurt & cheated on repeatedly in past relationships. One of the biggest and hardest lessons my late significant other, Matt, and I taught each other was TRUST! Without trust it is hard to build a solid relationship.
There is saying “ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS “. This is how Matt gained my trust and we built our solid foundation. I have found through my life experiences with others that words are just words until you put meaning behind them. I shared with him my feelings, my fears, my past hurts, trauma and abuse, my vulnerabilities and rawness and my dreams. Matt was a man of few words at first instead showing me through his actions that he not only heard what I said he listened. As our relationship progressed he began using music as way to express his True feelings not only for me but also his innermost world until he was able to voice them. The first time he said, “I Love You”, he caught me by surprise and I said, “What?”, he didn’t respond, so later when he walked me out to my car before work I asked him , “…Did I hear you say, ‘I Love You….?” He said, “Yes, I use those words sparingly…” It surprised me the more he revealed that he had many of the same insecurities and fears I had, too: not being good enough, not being worthy of love and the fear of being cheated on, are just a few examples. The more we gained each other’s trust the more our walls of protection came down, knowing it was safe to show our “broken” pieces, the side of us no one else knew or saw. Together with the safety and protection of our love, we began facing our fears, healing each other’s wounds, revisiting our dreams and began planning for our futures together.
Time and time again we showed each other through our actions that we were loyal, faithful and committed to each other. We knew without a doubt we could trust each other on every level and that we would not be hurt in any way shape or form. Teaching each other the sacredness of a relationship is one of the most beautiful gifts my late significant other and I gave each other.